Broken Reflections
by azelmajondrette
Summary: Merlin is kidnapped by Lady Elaine of Shalott, causing Arthur to find out about his magic. Betrayed, the king initially refuses to save his servant. But now, Merlin is the one truly betrayed, and with a broken spirit he is fully prepared for the Golden Age of Albion to never happen. Reveal! Whump! T because I'm one of those paranoid people.
1. Chapter 1

"You know Arthur, I used to wonder why there wasn't a mirror in your chambers, but now that I think about it- well, if _I _had that face I wouldn't either. There are much less painful methods of torture at hand you know." Arthur reluctantly allowed his eyelids to pry themselves open to reveal his manservant grinning down at him. He was holding a cup out towards the prince.

"Now come on, up and at 'em! Lady Elaine has come to sign the peace treaty in place of her father- it seems that Lord Enrick was a bit busy to do the deed himself." Arthur let out a groan in response and rolled over onto his side. He held out his hand and Merlin placed the cup inside of it. Without even looking to see what kind of beverage he was given, he tossed the drink in the direction of the boy. Merlin blinked and sputtered out the drops of liquid which were now falling down his face.

"Well that wasn't very kind, now was it?" Merlin asked with a frown.

"Neither was your lovely monologue concerning my face. Now where's my breakfast?"

"Prat." Merlin muttered, trying and failing to keep the affection out of his voice. He sighed and scurried off to do his master's bidding. As Arthur slowly rose from bed, he noticed how strange his manservant's lack of tardiness was. He supposed that it could be partially credited to the absence of Gaius- the old man was to be gone for a month, maybe even longer. He was off studying some recent breakthrough of medicine, or something of the like. Arthur had never bothered to ask the specifics.

Of course, with Gaius gone for a while, Arthur would be morally obliged to be at the very least, civil to his young manservant so that the idiot wouldn't spend his time moping about the palace, absorbed in his loneliness. Arthur would rather dish out a few less insults rather than having to go a whole month without Merlin's annoyingly infectious smile.

"Tell me, _Mer_lin, what time am I supposed to be actually meeting with the Lady Elaine?" Merlin's head perked up and the hands that were currently straightening the King's bed froze.

"Oh, um, yes. You're supposed to meet in about- ten minutes?" The boy gave an apologetic grin. Arthur muttered a curse.

Alright.

Maybe his manservant _hadn't _become any more competent with the physician's absence. Within minutes Arthur had hurried his servant into dressing him and had dashed out off his chambers, a frenzied Merlin at his heels.

Of course Lady Elaine couldn't have been late as well. No, Arthur's guests were always right on time. Arthur's guests obviously had good servants. Luckily, the lady didn't seem to be put out. She was perched daintily on a chair, mindlessly running her fingers over a silver hand mirror. Odd. Arthur had never considered women to be _that _vain. The king cleared his throat, alerting the girl of his presence. She looked up, flashed a pretty smile, and opened her mouth to speak.

And then Merlin walked in.

Why is it, Arthur wondered, that everything always went horribly wrong when that idiot servant was involved?

At the sight of the king's servant Elaine flinched as though someone had just walked up to her and had driven a pin into her arm. Her eyes seemed to flicker with a sort of fear for a moment before she managed to regain her composure.

"Arthur." She breathed. Elaine gripped the handle of her hand mirror tight and swallowed. Arthur raised an eyebrow, confusion playing upon his features.

"Lady Elaine." He greeted, drawing out the syllables of her name. "Hello." Arthur motioned for Merlin to follow him to the table and the servant obeyed. Elaine's eyes followed the boy as if she expected him to pounce her at any moment. As if that would happen. Even if Merlin had somehow been drunk enough to do something as brash as attacking a woman, there was absolutely no way in Albion that it would it be anything of a success. In fact, Arthur thought with a smile, the majority of women could probably take on his skinny manservant in a fight with ease. Arthur allowed himself an amused chuckle before letting his thoughts drift back to the matter at hand. The peace treaty.

"I am told that your father is a very busy man, Lady Elaine of Shalott, and that you have come to sign the treaty in his stead. I must say that it is very admirable of you to-" Arthur paused as he struggled for some sort of compliment to give the woman. "To… take on such a daunting task yourself. I would like to make the task as simple as possible. So, if it is alright with you I shall have Geoffrey draw up the treaty." Arthur raised his eyebrows at Elaine, beckoning her to answer. To his surprise, she shot up from her seat and shook her head.

"No! No, that will not be necessary." She was looking at Merlin as she spoke these words. What on earth was wrong with the woman?

"What do you mean by that? Your father and I have been discussing this treaty for a year. Have we done something to offend you?" The king turned and gave Merlin a pointed glare. His servant glared right back.

_What are you blaming me for?_ His expression seemed to scream. Elaine's voice broke the two men's silent conversation.

"No, I have just been thinking and- there are a few things that I would like to clear with my father before we proceed. Perhaps it would be more beneficial if he accompanied me to Camelot next time." Arthur gave a slow, confused nod. Elaine smiled.

"Right. Well, if you wouldn't mind, I would have your servant help me with my packing." Arthur tried to hold back a laugh. So _that _was why she was looking at his manservant so oddly. The woman _fancied _Merlin. Arthur grinned at the boy. The women of Shalott must have odd taste.

"Well then _Mer_lin, why don't you accompany the Lady of Shalott to her chambers then and help her pack up?" The boy still hadn't shaken his glare from earlier, and he seemed to follow Elaine almost _reluctantly. _Arthur didn't understand, but he would let it be. If Merlin didn't want the affections of a rich and no doubt highly desired lady, well Arthur wouldn't ask any questions. He only hoped that the next time around Elaine really did let her father come.

It was with a horrible sense of unease that Merlin entered the conference room that morning. Ever since he set sight on Elaine there was an odd foreboding fear inside his stomach. But instead of the usual feeling that someone would try and assassinate Arthur, Merlin felt the animosity directed towards himself. Which, in a way was almost worse.

Arthur had laughed when Elaine requested Merlin's assistance, but the Warlock knew this to be nothing to chuckle at. Elaine had brought plenty of servants with her- why did she need him? Which was precisely what Merlin asked her.

"You were just on hand, and I'm sure my other servants are already busy." Elaine gave Merlin a look which suggested that the reason she had given wasn't really her motive at all. Merlin's gut clenched.

"Right, well I'll try and be quick. I'm sure you'll want to be on your way and I have Arthur to attend to." Elaine sighed.

"What, don't you enjoy my company?" She asked. Merlin shrugged.

"Can't really say, I don't exactly know you. Worse than that, I don't know why you suddenly called off the signing of the treaty. I know for a fact that all the preparation was done, save for the actual signing." They arrived at the lady's chambers and Elaine opened the door. The look she gave Merlin was almost daring. She let out an empty laugh.

"Why don't you come in and I'll tell you why?" Merlin bit down on his lip. Reluctantly, he obeyed. If anything was going on it would be his job to find out what. No way could he rely on Arthur to actually do anything kingly such as save his kingdom from crazy politicians. No, why would a _king_ do something like that when he had a servant? Once inside the room Elaine swung the door closed. The two stared at each other, each inviting the other to speak. Well, Merlin wasn't one to pass up an invitation.

"Alright, I followed you in. Now tell me, why aren't you signing the treaty?" Elaine lifted her mirror to her face and breathed onto the surface. The glass slowly fogged over, and smiling, Elaine held the instrument out towards Merlin.

"It's because I met you." She answered. Merlin reached out his hand towards to mirror. "And I suppose you could call it fate… Emrys."

Merlin's skin made contact with the silver and the world went black.

**Author's note- So I was supposed to be spending tonight writing an actual original story. I really was. But I wasn't really feeling the whole intense writing vibe, so I decided to do what I call "writing doodles" which is, admittedly, me writing but without much effort. I came up with this plot today which made the Lady of Shalott into a villain, and I actually really kinda like what I have planned for her. Keep reading- if you don't mind my horrible writing- and you'll see. Oh, and this takes place a little bit after Arthur become king. I like stories where- SPOILERS- Arthur is actually alive for a while whilst knowing about Merlin's magic and we get this whole golden age of Albion thing. Yeah. Thanks for reading! (If you actually got this far.)**


	2. Chapter 2

It took Arthur some time to notice the absence of his manservant. In fact, it wasn't until the next day when the sun was shining into his room and his stomach rumbled unhappily that he realized that he hadn't seen the boy since sending him off with Lady Elaine. Well the two couldn't have liked each other _that _much, could they have? So much that Merlin would forsake seeing to the welfare of his _own king? _If Merlin didn't end up in the stocks for this it would be because he had too horrible a concussion from one of Arthur's heaviest goblets. _That_ was a promise.

Angrily, Arthur pulled on his clothes and shouted out at a servant to fetch him some breakfast. He didn't know exactly _how _late that idiot had let him sleep in, but judging by the position of the sun it was far later than it was supposed to be. By the time Arthur arrived on the training fields he was practically steaming through the nose. Gwaine was the first to notice, and seemed to be quite amused by the king's annoyance. This, of course, only served to annoy him further.

"Good morning princess!" The knight chirped. "Although it's closer to noon by now. What's kept you?" Arthur scowled and picked up his sword.

"A lack of a certain idiot arriving in my chambers is what kept me." He growled. Gwaine let out chuckle.

"Right, where is Merlin? At the taverns? If he is, I envy the boy. I'd rather be served a nice cool drink by a pretty wench then be knocked about by her royal highness's sword all day." The knight smirked at Arthur who, in return raised his sword menacingly into the air. He let the metal swing itself around his hand a few times as if that proved the amount of business he meant.

"No, actually, I believe he is prancing about with the lady Elaine. Apparently she finds the company of my servants more important than signing a treaty." Gwaine raised an eyebrow in question.

"Sire." Sir Leon broke in. "Lady Elaine left Camelot yesterday morning- right after your meeting. I assure you that Merlin is not with her." Arthur turned around to meet the gaze of his oldest knight. A flicker of confusion crossed the king's eyes.

"Yesterday morning? But I haven't seen Merlin since then- and I certainly don't remember giving him a day off. I swear, if he was in the taverns-" Gwaine flicked his hair back and shook his head.

"No, he wasn't at the tavern. I should know. See, I was there last night. There was a girl there named Ellen, pretty thing. She gave me a whole ton of stew for free, said that I had pretty eyes…. Well, I would go on, but judging by your particularly livid expression, I would rather not." Elyan stepped forward and made sure that no one else planned on speaking before offering up his bit of knowledge.

"Sire, I haven't seen Merlin since the day before yesterday. Since Gaius is gone it's impossible that he was sent to fetch herbs or anything of the like. Perhaps we should be worried?" Arthur hesitated for a moment before slowly shaking his head.

"No, he's probably just in his chambers. I'm going to go fetch him. He'd better hope that he's in the taverns, because if I find him in his room, well…." The king's voice trailed off as he disappeared in the direction of the palace. The knights all stood for a moment, staring at each other. There were two options in front of them- go on training like any professional knight would, or go watch Merlin defend himself from an angry king. Gwaine's lips turned up and a glint in his eyes suggested that the men would be much better off attending to the latter.

Merlin's mind woke up before his eyes did. There was a flash of memory in which he remembered his fingers grazing silver, and after that- nothing. The warlock let out a moan and let his eyes flutter open. He was inside a room that he had never seen before. Of course he couldn't be sure- it was dark and he could barely make anything out. The boy's head throbbed as if he'd just been recovering from a particularly brutal training session with Arthur- except training sessions were never accompanied by such a terrible sense of foreboding. The warlock raised his hands to his head, and that was when he felt it.

Heavy metal encased his wrists, a short length of chains connecting the shackles. But worse than that- Merlin felt empty. He felt like no more than a shell, emptied and useless, serving no purpose other than to just lie there and rot. A horrible panic spread throughout Merlin's body. He didn't feel the familiar flow of magic coursing through his veins. He felt cold. He felt unnatural.

_So this is what Gwaine must feel like when he is sober._ He thought with a weak smile. But the joke failed to calm him. He had no magic. _He had no magic_. And without magic- what was there for him to do? How could he expect to escape?

Merlin began to tremble furiously. He didn't know where he was, he was trapped, he was powerless. He was nothing other than an ordinary servant. The warlock bit down hard on his lip and tried to will his powers to awaken inside him. As he expected, nothing inside him rose to meet his commands. The boy let his head back and from his throat ripped a horrifying roar. He waited for someone to answer.

Silence.

Merlin let out another cry, and another, but there was no one to answer. There was no magic that rushed to his aid. He was alone, he was weak, and all there was to do was wait.

"Did you find him, Princess?" Gwaine called out. The knight ran inside Gaius's room to meet the king. They had expected to hear the angry shouts from yards away, but to their surprise there was nothing.

"Arthur?" Leon asked as he ascended the stairs to Merlin's room. Arthur stood in the doorway with raised eyebrows.

"What is that?" He asked, pointing ahead. Standing right in front of Merlin's bed was a large mirror. A guffaw escaped Percival's lips.

"That _cannot _be Merlin's!" He exclaimed. Gwaine bobbed his head in agreement.

"Perhaps it is a gift for a lady. If Arthur is to be believed, Merlin is quite popular with the womenfolk as of late."

"Oh, don't be such idiots." Arthur demanded with a roll of his eyes. He walked into the room and called out his manservant's name.

"I don't think he's here." Elyan noted. Arthur furrowed his brows.

"But that makes no sense. Unless he and that woman decided within hours that they wanted to pull off some sort of crazy elopement-." Arthur cut off and shook his head. "Except Merlin isn't _that _idiotic. Perhaps he is off studying herbs or something, hoping to impress Gaius when he returns." Arthur approached the mirror and cocked his head to the side. He'd been in Merlin's room to yell at him plenty of times before and he had never seen this… object. He would assume that it was new, but Merlin couldn't afford something so extravagant as a mirror- besides, the boy had more important things that he could spend his frugal savings on.

Arthur sucked his cheeks in and pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn't really want to admit it- especially not in front of his knights- but an odd sense of worry had begun to spring up inside his chest. There was a knowledge that came with knowing his servant for years that told him plenty about the boy's character. Merlin disappeared once in a while, but never for very long. And when he _did _disappear the tavern was always the natural excuse. But Gwaine had said- Wait. Gwaine. Speaking of the knight, the man's never-ending chattering had been cut short seconds ago. Wasn't he in the middle of talking about the time he had tried to pair Merlin up with one of the kitchen maids? What on earth could cause him to fall silent in the middle of such a _riveting _tale?

Arthur spun around to meet the confused gazes of his knights. Gwaine's eyes bore right into his, searching for answers.

"Sire." He breathed "What are these?"

The knight held up an book that resembled those of the old religion and a suspicious looking staff.

Items of magic.

**Holy follows Batman! No, really, this story got around 15 follows for its first chapter! I'm pretty shocked considering that this is a 'doodle' story. I was so excited that I wrote this chapter- sorry, but the main action doesn't start until chapter three. So… that's coming. Please forgive the truly terrible cliffhanger. Obviously I don't know what I am doing.**


	3. Chapter 3

Arthur ran to Gwaine and snatched the offending book from the knight's hands. Horror spread throughout his body as he flipped through the pages of the book and found them filled to the brim with spells and enchantments.

"What is this?" He snapped "Is this Merlin's?" He glared at the knights daring them to answer, but the king received nothing other than the same pure confusion that he felt emanating from them. The last thing that any one of the knights- that anyone in the palace- would expect to find in _Merlin's _room was a book of… magic. Arthur refused to believe it. Merlin was an idiot! He said so all the time, and sometimes he even believed it. Merlin was to… to Merlin to be anything but. Gwaine cleared his throat.

"Well perhaps it's not really Merlin's. He could have just found it somewhere and not known what it was." Arthur furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head.

"_No."_ He spat "Anyone with half a brain could see that this is a book of magic- I want to know why it is in Merlin's room, and I want to know now!" The look he gave Gwaine seemed to suggest that the king expected Gwaine to plead his manservant's case.

Each man in the room took a turn opening their mouth to speak, but they accomplished nothing other than swallowing the empty air. You could hear a Dorocha approach in the silence that ensued. Arthur took a shaking breath- and then he felt something odd. He felt as if there was someone else in the room. Someone besides the knights.

A woman's laugh confirmed his fears. Slowly, Arthur turned his body around and came face to face with a mirror. And the visage of the woman inside of it. Because a woman _was _inside the mirror. There was no way that met him was _Arthur's _reflection. It was far too… womanly. In fact, the face that met Arthur's wasn't his, and it certainly was not just anyone.

It was the Lady Elaine.

She was perched prettily upon a chair with a giant loom in front of her. As she stared at Arthur she began to weave furiously. In that moment Arthur felt strangely like his late father. For as he stared into the mirror a nagging voice inside his head shouted _witchcraft! _Before Arthur could say a word, Elaine spoke.

"Hello Arthur." She greeted, malice heavily dripping from each syllable. Her hands moved up and down the loom, up and down as the threads rushed to do her bidding. "I don't suppose that you'll ask me how my journey home has fared?" Arthur licked his lips which were now more dry than ever. In fact, his whole mouth now felt devoid of moister, and it took more effort than usual to speak.

"What are you doing inside a mirror- in Merlin's room?" He asked with more trouble than he would like to admit. Elaine shrugged.

"It's my line of work. What I do- it is sort of what you could call one of the ah… conditions of my curse."

"Your curse?"

"Yes, I'm cursed. Surprise!" Elaine laughed silently. "And my bidding is to weave- but I am only allowed to weave reflections. What I see in the mirror. When I was younger I had but one mirror that I could use as inspiration- I hadn't my _talents _yet at that point. Now, however I've expanded my horizons. So long as what I weave is what I see from a mirror, I'm okay. And I have to ability to get my information from any mirror I want." The pitch of the last few words were altered to that Elaine was almost singing them; merrily taking in the prince's confused expression.

"So you've decided that my servant's room would provide for inspiration?" Arthur asked.

"Well it seems I have plenty." Elaine noted, gesturing to Arthur, his knights, and that wretched book.

"Nice little trinket there you servant possesses." The lady noted. "He really is quite adept at his little magic tricks, wouldn't you think?" Arthur felt as if he'd been punched in the gut. Several times. Elaine drank in his expression with unmasked glee. She formed her lips in mock surprise.

"Oh! But I suppose that maybe… maybe you didn't know about Merlin's talents?" And there was another punch in the gut. "It doesn't surprise me that he'd want to hide them from you. I suppose you'd be terribly angry."

"Of course I'm angry!" Arthur practically screamed. He felt the knights flinch behind him. "The _one _person I thought I could trust has betrayed Camelot? Betrayed everything my father and I have worked for? If Merlin thinks that he'll get away with this then he is even more of an idiot than I thought!" Elaine sucked in her breath. A morbid pleasure danced about her features.

"Then I can have him?" She asked with glee. "You see, I already took him- but it would be nice if I knew that his king wouldn't be angry at whatever I do to him."

"You have him?" Arthur asked. All the blood seemed to drain from his face. He felt- worry. No, that wasn't worry inside him. That was anger. He was angry. That was all. Pure anger. Merlin was a betrayer. A filthy, magic practicing betrayer. "Well you can have him." Arthur spat. Elaine nodded with glee.

"Good. I thought you'd say that. I suppose I should be on my way then?" Elaine pulled her now completed tapestry off the machine. A sudden question popped into Arthur's mind.

"Wait! If you already have him- why did you feel the need to talk to me?" The corners of Elaine's mouth turned up, her eyes flashed with pure sadism. She held up her finished pieced up for Arthur to drink in.

"I told you, I can only weave what I see, and I would love for your _Mer_lin to see his master's reaction to his talents. Perhaps it may show him how worthless he now is."

**A/N: Yeah, I just love you all so much that here is a short chapter. Enjoy? Maybe? If anyone reviews I'll probably get excited and possibly give you ANOTHER today. Thanks a ton for the support!**


	4. Chapter 4

Merlin had fallen asleep. Idiot. Who would be stupid enough to sleep while in captivity? Something could have happened which might have been avoided if he was awake- well, maybe. Perhaps not having his magic was Merlin's equivalent of being asleep.

But if he had been gone long enough to need sleep- well Arthur would have _had _to have noticed his absence by now. In fact, perhaps the king was looking for him now. And perhaps at any moment he would walk into that empty room and sneak Merlin out of there.

Except… the room wasn't empty. And it wasn't dark anymore either. In fact, it was rather bright inside the warlock's prison. And mere feet in front of him was a large loom. Sitting at it, weaving as if she was nothing save for an innocent woman, as if she hadn't imprisoned a warlock- but more importantly, the king's manservant- was Lady Elaine. Upon noticing that her prisoner had awakened, Elaine cooed affectionately.

"Good morning _Emrys._" She breathed. Merlin blinked.

"What?" He asked. Just one word. Asking something typical such as, _where am I?_ or, _what are you doing? _seemed so pointless. He didn't think that a woman who entertained herself by weaving tapestries with sleeping prisoners in the room would demean her villainess appearance by indulging such information. Elaine stood up and stretched, enjoying taking her time with things. Each second in silence would surely serve to let the panic inside the warlock to grow.

"You weren't in Camelot the last time I visited." Elaine noted. "It was a bit more than a year ago. Perhaps you can remember the occasion, but you weren't there, I'm sure of it." She cocked her head at Merlin.

"Where _were _you that time my father and I visited, warlock?" Merlin let his mind take him back to when Lord Enrick and his daughter had first come to Camelot to begin preparations for a peace treaty. It was true; he hadn't been around to see them.

There was something rather large going on at that time- right, a sorcerer was in a village a few hours away from Camelot possessing the villagers to think that they were animals. There were 'wolfs' trying to hunt 'rabbits', the whole mess was a scam to try and draw Arthur away from the throne for a day or two. Luckily, Merlin had been able to intervene in time.

"I was collecting herbs for Gaius." He answered. Better that then the tavern. Elaine smirked. Right, she wasn't likely to believe that one was she?

"You had a friend then." Elaine mused. Merlin let out a strained laugh.

"You know, I have more than one of those, believe it or not." Elaine ignored his words, preferring instead to carry on with her own presentation.

"Do you see that?" She said, gesturing to the corner of the room. Merlin turned his head to find a large mirror standing a few feet from the wall. The Lady of Shallot was quite fond of those, wasn't she? How much time must she spend looking at herself? The mirror was expensive looking with its ornate designs and three rather large pearls at the top. But the bottom right corner sported a rather large crack in the glass. "That mirror wasn't broken before I arrived in Camelot." Elaine mused. Merlin raised his eyebrows.

"So is the moral of the story not to lug unnecessary amounts of furniture with you when you visit places then? You know, Camelot _does _have looking glasses. They don't just exist in Shallot." Elaine shot Merlin a glare.

"That mirror is my lifeline!" She spat. An expression resembling sadness washed over Elaine's face, and for a split second Merlin almost felt something akin to pity for the woman. Then he remembered that she was an evil witch no doubt planning to do _something _destructive to Camelot like everyone else who visited the place. Elaine approached the mirror and ran her fingers along the surface. She sighed.

"I was born from reflections. My father, he dabbled with sorcery as means to be allowed a child. He was given one- myself- but like everything I came with a condition. He couldn't simply have a child no strings attached. I was to spend my life looking in a mirror, the world that I came from. And I was made to weave what I saw within. It's all I had done for twenty years. My father, he was told that my heart was fragile- like this glass. If I ever saw the reflection of one that would never love me back, the mirror would break and I would die." Elaine placed her hand inside her dress and withdrew a piece of fabric. She held it up to Merlin who nearly gasped.

Woven into the fabric was… Lancelot. His friend. His friend who had died months before to save them all from the Dorocha.

"He was very handsome." Elaine whispered. "Very handsome indeed. When we arrived in Camelot my father noted my affections for the knight. He strove to keep me away from Lancelot for fear that I would see his reflection. Fate doesn't like to be messed with however, it made sure that I saw his reflection, and as consequence the mirror began to break."

"If the mirror is cracked," Merlin began, "How are you not dead?" Elaine shoved the fabric back into her dress.

"The universe has this lovely little life in exchange for a life policy. My father sacrificed himself so that I would live. He's dead now, and I am left to complete all the work that he began. I can't though. Not by myself, not with my own powers."

"Your father is dead?" Merlin asked. "But we were told that he was simply doing business in another kingdom- we were told that you came in the place of him!" Elaine shrugged.

"So I stretched the truth a bit. It wasn't too far off. My father will not be dead for much longer. Not when I have your powers." Merlin's eyes widened. She didn't want Camelot. This was worse. She wanted _him._

"No." He whispered. "No, you won't get my powers. See, you may have locked my magic away for a bit, but I know a certain prattish king who doesn't like to be without his servant for very long. I expect he'll be in here any second, dragging me off to the stocks." Despite his current situation, Merlin had to smile at his little joke. But the grin had hardly reached his lips before faltering terribly. Something in Elaine's expression pushed any possibility of amusement away.

"Oh Arthur won't be coming here for the likes of _you_." She announced happily. Merlin narrowed his eyes at the woman.

"Oh, but I think he will. And you won't be touching _my _magic." Elaine sighed and shook her head.

"I'm sorry _Mer_lin, but I'm afraid you don't really have a choice." Merlin flinched when she said his name. She stressed the first syllable the way Arthur always had, but it sounded so much crueler coming from her lips.

"I have a choice." Merlin hissed. "And so does Arthur." The words spilled angrily out of Merlin's mouth. Elaine was at her loom again, gathering a tapestry in her arms. As she spoke her voice was smooth and soothing, but her words cut into Merlin's skin like nothing else.

"Oh Arthur _does _have a choice warlock, and he's already made it. He's not coming. He never wants to see your face again. He thinks that you and the rest of your kind are _filth."_ She was lying. Merlin repeated the word inside his mind, tried to let it settle in and cover up Elaine's statement. Liar. Liar, liar, liar! Arthur wouldn't leave him. Arthur couldn't judge Merlin's 'kind'. He didn't even know about the magic. He didn't- Merlin's eyes were suddenly glued to Elaine's tapestry. His breath hitched.

"I weave reflections Merlin. I weave what I see. It's who I am. Do you like my work? Do you like the _stories _my threads tell?"

The figure depicted in the scenes on the cloth was Arthur. Holding a book- Merlin's book of magic. There was a look of pure disgust on the king's face. Elaine shook the cloth and the thread-Arthur seemed to move. He was shouting, shouting his hatred for the warlock. He didn't want to save him. He didn't want to make sure that he was alive. In fact, he would be happy if Elaine did away with the boy.

"He hates you now." Elaine dropped the cloth and it fell to the ground in a rumpled heap. Merlin's eyes were attached to it. He couldn't tear them away. Arthur- had betrayed him? He knew about his magic and didn't accept it? But of course he couldn't! Not if they weren't from Merlin's mouth, not if he wasn't there to plead his own case! Merlin found himself choking back a sob. No. _No. _That wouldn't do. He had to get out of here. He had to explain himself to Arthur! He had to see if maybe, just maybe this was all fake. Just a game. But whatever he did, he couldn't allow this woman watch his pain and enjoy it. He couldn't allow her to stare at his tears with satisfaction. She couldn't just win.

"Merlin." Elaine simpered. "Come on warlock, look up. Look at me." Merlin lifted his head up from the ground. Elaine stood in front of him holding a round mirror right in front of his face. Merlin saw his own face, streaked with tears staring back at him and he felt _embarrassment _of all things. Elaine smiled.

"Can you see yourself?" She asked. Merlin nodded. "Good. You have to be able to for the spell to work. Let's see how long it takes to break you." Elaine whispered underneath her breath and the mirror shattered. Pain coursed through the warlock and Merlin screamed.

**A/N: Dun dun duuuuuunnn! Yes, you can tell me that my cliff hangers hardly count as such. I mean honestly, you call this a cliffie? Nope. I'm actually rather shocked at the reception this has gotten. I hadn't really expected this. I mean, I don't personally consider this to be my best writing AT ALL. It's just my get-me-through-writers-block kinda deal. But if you guys like it tell me and I'll keep going. If not, maybe I won't. It's up to the readers I guess, whether I go on with this or not. Thanks a ton for the reviews! :-D It means a lot when your work is actually read!**


	5. Chapter 5

"Arthur!" Gwaine roared, bounding after the king. "Where are you going?" He demanded. Arthur sped up his pace, his face set in a grim expression. His lips were pursed tight and he turned his face away from the knight.

"I'm going to my chambers." Arthur hissed. "Where it's not legal for anyone to follow me."

"And suddenly every fine detail of the law matters, does it princess? I don't remember it being lawful for you to knight peasants but you did it. It wasn't legal to allow anyone on your quest for the trident but you weren't complaining then! It wasn't legal when Merlin-"

"_Don't _mention the name of that _sorcerer_." Arthur spat. Gwaine froze in shock. He shook his head slowly.

"No. This isn't you Arthur. He's your friend. Are you going to let something you learned not twenty minutes ago change that? Is that what a king of Camelot is expected to do? Because if you can betray Merlin for something that-that for all we know he can't help- then you're not the ruler that I hoped you were." Arthur's expression seemed to shift from anger, to regret, and then back to anger.

"What would you have me do?" He asked. "Send out a search party?" Gwaine shrugged.

"Nah, that's boring. I was thinking more along the lines of you going yourself, with the knights of course. Like we always do?" The knight flashed Arthur his most charismatic grin, one usually reserved for only the prettiest barmaids, or when he really, _really _needed a discount. He could see the king weigh the options inside his mind, but in the end the laws that his father had drilled into his brain won over.

"I can't do it." Arthur whispered. "I can't waste such resources on a sorc- on a servant." The king seemed to prefer the latter word as it was less… condemning. Gwaine, on the other hand was turning from charismatic to livid faster than he could down a pint of mead.

"_You idiot!" _he roared, not caring if his words would land him in the dungeon for a week. "You bloody well don't care if he's a servant, don't pretend! What about the search parties we sent out when the bandits got Merlin? And when they didn't succeed we went out ourselves! When the Dorocha attacked you sent one of the knights that you _needed _home in the hope that Merlin's life would be spared. Don't try and act like anything but the prat you are _your highness, _because I _will_ come up with something to counteract anything excuse you come up with." Despite himself, Arthur swallowed. Gwaine's fists were balled together so tight that there were likely nail sized crescents engraved into his palms. His usually carefree expression was twisted into such a rage as only a scrawny idiot manservant could cause.

It was all so tempting, to run off and save Merlin, but something told Arthur that he just _couldn't._ In a way, the choice was either his father or his best friend. And his father had worked over twenty years to prove the evil of magic. It had killed Arthur's mother, it had killed Uther, it had almost caused _him_ to kill to kill the man! It had torn Morgana from the family and caused more attempts on his life then Arthur cared to count. To just now run off and accept it as anything but what his father had told him- wouldn't that make him a betrayer?

But Merlin….

Idiot Merlin. Disrespectful Merlin. Loyal Merlin.

Merlin, one of the only men who had ever seen him cry.

Arthur turned his back in what his knight had perceived as anger, but really it was meant as nothing more than make sure that it stayed that way with only Merlin seeing him cry. Because now he could feel the tears pricking at his eyes as he made the decision of duty over self indulgent.

"I can't." He whispered. Gwaine let out a loud cry of exasperation.

"So that's your final answer?" he spat. "You're leaving your friend at the hands of- of- well who knows who?" Arthur gave a stiff nod, his back still facing the knight. Gwaine heaved a sigh.

"So that's it then." He mused. He turned around so the two men's backs faced each other. In a way they looked like nothing more than two children in a feud over the last sweet roll. And then Gwaine walked away.

"Where are you going?" Arthur asked. There was anger in his voice, but only to coat the sadness. Gwaine tried to plaster on his usual carefree smile as he delivered his final line.

"Just because you aren't coming doesn't mean we aren't. The knights and I are getting Merlin."

**A/N: I am a horrible person for taking this long, aren't I? My brother is getting married Friday so we have been super busy! But this story still has a ways to go since Arthur is sorta… being prattish. So I shall write on, hopefully till the end. Anyone like Rise of the Guardians? Because I have a RotG fic that's growing inside my mind as well. And I put in some of Arthur's thought process as well so ya'll won't hate him.**


	6. Chapter 6

Two full days Merlin had been left in that room, alone, the broken pieces of glass decorating the floor around him. Elaine obviously had other matters of state to attend to, leaving the warlock with nothing save for his mind. That was the worst bit of it all.

Elaine's methods were unique to say the least. Whatever enchantment she used was more effective than any other kind of torture Merlin had seen- because this one was of the soul. She had held hand mirrors in front of his face and shouted enchantments which shattered the glass- and as the glass broke Merlin did. It felt as if everything inside him, everything that mattered was being broken shard by shard.

And just as soon as she was there, Elaine was gone- leaving the warlock to _reflect _she had said. And despite his own wishes, reflecting was all Merlin had left to do. Two days he had been given to think about all he had lost. The most prominent of these was most likely any kind of relationship he had with Arthur. Merlin couldn't help but wonder, if he was saved would it only be so that he could be given a proper execution? One where he could be shown the penalties of deceiving Camelot for as long as he had. He wished with everything he had- which wasn't really much- that everything Elaine had said was wrong. That maybe Arthur was still oblivious. But Merlin knew curses and Elaine's weaving- that was a curse. That first visit, the one she had made with her father all that time ago- Merlin had noticed something different about the girl. At first the pure joy at meeting Lancelot, and then the happy glances she sent his way turning to sad ones. And also, near the end she almost looked as if she had resigned to something. Her death. Only it was her father who died in the end.

Merlin almost felt pity for her- similar to the pity he felt for Morgana. Almost like this wasn't _their _choice. But it was, wasn't it? Maybe their birth wasn't their choice, but how they dealt with it was. Merlin was born with magic, but he chose to use it for good. He chose to use it for Arthur.

Little good that did now. The man he had dedicated his life to protecting probably wanted him dead now. Merlin sighed. The first day he had cried. But not since then- he didn't have the will to. Maybe it would be easier if he did. Maybe if he allowed himself to cry, the tears that fell would take with them some of the angst, some of the hopelessness. Because that was all he had felt the last two days.

But worse than that was he felt alone. He felt alone because even if he returned to Camelot he would never be home.

He would never again be home because his home was Arthur.

The knights set out in silence. It felt as if even the air around them was holding its breath- waiting, watching, to see what would happen. Would the king stop them? Join them? The answer was neither. As Camelot's finest knights set out to save a friend, the king of Camelot watched from his window. His room was- for once- in perfect order thanks to George, save for a single goblet which lay on the floor. One that when thrown had no target.

It was two hours into the journey before any of the knights dared to speak, and it was the quietest of all of them who did so.

"I think he cares." Perceval announced, almost in a whisper. Leon nodded.

"I know he does. I also know that he feel like he has a kingdom to run, and certain laws to follow."

"He's the king!" Gwaine cried out. "He can change the laws!"

"But we have to consider at what cost." Leon reminded him. "There are many, yes, who would benefit from magic being made legal, and in time such a law could truly help to strengthen Camelot. But we must remember that many men believed in Uther's beliefs. There would be a fair amount of backlash that would come with legalizing magic; the process would take a lot of time. If the people saw Arthur legalizing it all for the profit of his manservant, some would call him biased."

"But it's _Merlin._" Gwaine complained. Leon sighed.

"I know." He said. "That's the hardest part. But in time- in time he may change."

"Like he did for my sister?" Elyan asked, knowing of the relationship between Gwen and the king.

"There is a considerable difference between marrying a servant and changing a kingdom's most prominent law for one." The oldest knight reminded him. Gwaine frowned.

"You're talking almost as if you don't want magic to be legalized for Merlin." He growled. Leon tried to laugh, but it came out forced.

"I'm coming, aren't I?" He reminded his friend. Gwaine relaxed and flashed him a genuine smile.

"That's only because you'd rather that than lose another best hair contest to me." The knight joked, with a toss of his locks. Leon rolled his eyes.

"Funny joke Gwaine, but everyone tells me I look like Apollo with these curls." His words were met with hearty laughter from the small company.

"Sometimes Leon, I think that you want to rule Camelot yourself as it would suit your vanity." Percival laughed. Leon shrugged.

"Not saying I wouldn't rule well. I've come back from how many battles now as the only survivor?"

"You can thank the cup of life for one of those." Gwaine reminded him. The knights rode on, offering up more banter as they always did when on some mission or another. They tried their best to ignore the absence of two members of their party, one perhaps on the brink of death, the other not quite in his right mind.

It was lucky that Shallot wasn't much more than a two days ride ahead however, for as much as the knights could crack jokes each hour found them more restless. Finally, Lady Elaine's villa was in sight. The men's faces once again turned grim and they set forth with determination. Gwaine spurred his horse ahead.

"Let's go get Merlin."

**A/N: Oh looky, I squeezed in a super cheesy line about Arthur being Merlin's home. I think I earned a cookie there. *Winces as angry readers throw potatoes for cheesy lines and puns concerning mirrors. Elaine left him to **_**reflect.**_** Har har har.* Anywhozizzles, thanks to all my readers. I have almost 70 at the time of writing this, maybe I will when I actually post this. If I'm really lucky, ya'know. This is getting pretty fun. Eh heh heh. I'll have to think of what to write after this one. Oh, and notice how I made Leon jokes…. LeonLeonLeonLeon**


	7. Chapter 7

Merlin stared down at the broken glass around him. Elaine had come again that morning, but did nothing save for sit on a chair and weave. Just that. It was as if she was playing mind games with him. They both knew what she could be doing. She had the means to- and he had none with which to fight back. Not with his magic suppressed like that.

So why wasn't she? Was she simple trying to break his will? Show him that he was powerless; he was in her grasp. She would do things on her own time. What suited Merlin was nothing. He was nothing, not anymore. Not without Arthur.

He was simply a shell. A shell holding the most powerful magic in existence, and it was anyone's for the taking. Merlin let out a small cry. Why hadn't she cleaned up the glass? He saw his reflection inside the shards, and they distorted his image making him look jagged and broken. Was he?

No.

Not until he saw Arthur again. Not until his fears were either confirmed or denied. Not until then. To Merlin's surprise, he heard footsteps. And they weren't the soft, precise footsteps of Elaine. No; they were loud and boisterous, like there was a race to be the first to reach danger. They would no doubt be falling all over each other and drawing swords. To them this would be half game, half real life. Merlin knew those footsteps. The knights.

"Arthur!" He cried out, just as the group fell into the room. The first in was predictably a frazzled Gwaine, followed by Leon. Percival and Elyan stumbled in next, and then…. Merlin repeated Arthur's name, but this time it was a question. As he said it, he could not decide if the sorrow on the knight's faces were due to Merlin's sorry state, or Arthur's absence. Gwaine stepped forward, concern etched into his features. He was careful to step around the glass which littered the floor, as he made his way towards the servant. Once he reached the warlock, he put forward his hand to touch Merlin's shoulder. It was as if he was confirming to Merlin that they were really there, in case there was any doubt.

"We made it, mate." He said with a smile. "I gave up a tankard of beer with a pretty wench to come get you. Anything for my best friend." The meaning behind the knight's words was not lost on Merlin. Arthur was not there for a reason, so Gwaine was claiming Merlin's friendship instead. He would be by the warlock's side, even if no one else would. Merlin felt tears burn at his eyes, but they wouldn't fall. Was he relieved? Or did sadness still hang heavy in his heart?

"Gonna help me outta here?" He asked, softly. Gwaine nodded, his expression neutral. Percival stepped forward then, and with a swing of his sword the chains shattered. Merlin felt himself fall for a moment, before being caught in Percival's strong arms.

"We've got you mate." Gwaine whispered. Merlin looked down at his wrists, where the cuffs were still in place.

"What about these?" The need to have his magic back was desperate now, as he yearned to have the means to get his friends out of this place, if danger presented itself.

"Good luck with those." A female voice crowed. Merlin felt his blood run cold. A slight shiver ran down his spine. He turned to face Elaine. "Your friends aren't very stealthy, are they?" She asked.

"What of it?" Gwaine spat.

"I only mean that a getaway plan isn't very useful if you alert every enemy for miles around of your presence."

"We don't care if you know we're here." Leon said. "We'll take Merlin no matter what."

"And kill you in the process." Gwaine hissed under his breath. Leon shot him a silencing glare. Elaine gave a smile at this.

"Would you like to kill me? Alright. The mirror is over there. If you break it, I die. Help yourself."

"And I suppose you have some sort of enchantment over this mirror to prevent us from doing that, don't you?" Elyan asked. Elaine raised her eyebrows.

"He's clever. You should let him talk more."

"Leave her here." Merlin begged. "Let's just go." Elaine shrugged.

"You all can go, I'm not in the mood to kill anyone. Just leave me the boy."

"Like hell!" Gwaine cried. He rushed towards Elaine with a swing of his sword, but the woman didn't flinch. Right as his weapon was about to make contact with skin, he found himself blown backwards.

"I told you, I am born of reflections! You will not kill me in the flesh, try though you may." Gwaine shook his head.

"No, maybe not yet. But we can detain you." The knight nodded towards Leon who dove towards the one possession of Elaine's which they could break. Her precious loom.

Elaine let a cry as metal made contact with wood, and the instrument splintered. The tapestry which lay upon it tore and the threads fell towards the floor. Leon raised his sword again, and Elaine rushed towards him in an attempt to protect her treasure. As the sword stabbed again, Percival bundled up Merlin and ran for the door, followed by Gwaine and Elyan.

"Take him!" Elaine screamed. "But don't think I need him here to still hurt him! And don't think that your little king will be so accepting of the _sorcerer's_ talents!" Her cries grew smaller and smaller as Merlin was ushered out of the building. The knights tumbled outside, and in a few minutes Leon joined them.

They ran for a while, until they were out of danger, but as soon as it was safe, they stopped. Everyone's attention was turned onto Merlin. There was no hatred on their faces, just concern. Merlin wondered for a moment if perhaps only Arthur had found out about hid magic, and if they had simply ignored Elaine's accusations. His deductions, however, were quickly proven to be wrong.

"I knew all along." Gwaine admitted. "Well, ever since we went with Arthur to get the trident. I may be stupid, but not as much as Arthur. I knew what that troll guy was getting at when he said magic." The other knights looked up in surprise.

"You didn't tell us that." Percival said, hurt detectable in his tone. Gwaine shrugged.

"I didn't know if you all would be accepting. _Princess_ certainly was not." Merlin did not miss the venom in his tone when he mentioned the king. He swallowed.

"None of you mind then?" He asked. The knights all looked at each other, and for a single moment, Merlin doubted. And then Leon let out a laugh.

"We're here, aren't we?"

"But…." Merlin felt a swelling inside his chest. "Arthur. Why didn't he come?" The laughter was cut short. Leon looked towards the knights for guidance, but they gave him telling enough glances. He was the leader.

"That, my friend, is a different story."

**Extended apologies for my extended absence…. Ahem. Disclaimer that comes after the chapter. You thought you could sue me because you didn't see the disclaimer up there? Nope! It's down here. I sadly don't own Merlin. *Cries in a corner***

**So readers, you think this story is almost done now that Merlin is saved, yes? NOPE! I'M A TROLL. Elaine is angry and Arthur is not even close to finished when it comes to being a prat. Aherm…. Eh heh….. Heh…. Heh…. Please continue to read and review! I WILL keep updating! I promise! If any of my readers are actually still here…. Oh. And yeah. I know the loom thing was lame. I needed them out of there, and dumb Elaine is pretty invisible at the moment.**


	8. Chapter 8

There was no denying the discomfort that ensued on the journey back to Camelot. One of the oddities was the amount of attention the knights gave to Merlin. They made him gather no firewood, cook no meals. Rather, they attended to Merlin as if _they_ were the servants, not he. That was odd.

The other oddity was far more so than the other- the absence of Arthur. It was rare for Merlin to go on a journey with the knights and not Arthur- the only one he could think of was the incident with the Lamia. He couldn't exactly say that that one had gone well.

But at least then he took comfort in the fact that Arthur was at home, waiting for the servant to return to his side. This time it was different. Merlin had no idea if he had a side to return to, and if he would be able to still call Camelot his home.

He dreaded his arrival there, and what Arthur would say. But arrive in Camelot they did. As they passed the plot of land where the gallows were often built, Leon caught Merlin staring uncomfortably at the area. Anger swelled inside him, and he vowed that if Arthur demanded the boy's arrest, he would not be the one to carry it out.

To everyone's surprise, the king was waiting for them in the throne room. As soon as they entered the gates to the palace, the group was ushered into council. Arthur sat straight upon the throne, his arms crossed. He glared down at the knights. No glance was spared in Merlin's direction.

"So," Arthur began. "You went off without my permission. Do you know the danger in what you have done? You left Camelot without some of its strongest defenders. Do you feel no shame for yourselves?" Leon stepped forward and shook his head.

"No, sire, I at least do not. You see, the reason we left was to protect Camelot's strong_est _protector." Gwaine grinned happily hearing these words, and Arthur's eyebrows shot up in surprise. He had not expected the oldest knight to say something so brazen as that. Gwaine, maybe. But Leon?

"In what way would you say that this sorcerer has protected Camelot?" He asked. Merlin recognized the expression on Arthur's face. He had seen it before, and before he had been able to talk it away. It was the stone faced expression that Arthur carried when he tried to block out emotion. The one he wore when there was a struggled between the duty of his heart and that of his kingdom. He often did not realize that the two connected. _What would my father do? Can I do the same?_

Those were the words that Merlin read in Arthur's neutral expression. Elyan cleared his throat.

"Arthur." He said, ignoring any sort of formal title. "What we have seen up to this point is Merlin going beyond the line of duty to protect us all, although you more than anyone. Now we must consider how much more he has done for us, but in secret. I think rather than betray us, Merlin has saved us." Merlin noticed Arthur's eye twitch slightly, but he remained composed. The king drew in a breath.

"Thank you, Elyan. I will consider your words." The lines were rehearsed, formal. Not Arthur.

"I ask that you all leave me. All of you except… Merlin." The knights exchanged worried glances, but they were duty bound to obey their ruler. One by one, they bowed to Arthur and left. Leon was the last. He bowed to his king, turned, and allowed himself the slightest dip in Merlin's direction. The servant felt his heart give, just a little. Once everyone had left, Arthur at last turned his attention towards Merlin. He licked his lips, and dared Merlin to speak first. He did not.

"Sorcerer." Was all the king could choke out. Merlin nodded.

"There is no denying it now." Arthur shook his head.

"But, why?"

"I did not choose my fate. I was born with it. Just like you, just like everyone here. I was born a sorcerer." Arthur's composure faltered for a moment. His fists clenched in an attempt to keep it all in.

"How?"

"I do not know." Arthur pursed his lips. A few moments passed before he again spoke.

"Prove it to me. Show me some magic." Despite himself, Merlin let out a worried sob. He shook his head and held his wrists out to Arthur, revealing the cuffs.

"I- I cannot. The cuffs Elaine gave me, they are enchanted. I can perform no magic, not while they are on me!" Arthur regarded the cuffs for a moment, and nodded slowly. Merlin found himself struggling with his own composure. Breathe in, and out. In out, in out. Don't cry. Don't let him see your tears. You're strong. He must see that.

"The penalty for sorcery…." Arthur swallowed. "The penalty is death." _Don't cry!_

"Arthur-"

"I cannot kill you Merlin." Arthur shook his head. "I can't." _Don't cry. Don't- _The tears came. Merlin trembled in relief. But it was only momentary. He did not overlook the lack of warmth in Arthur's eyes.

"My people would not appreciate my letting a sorcerer live. I warn you Merlin, do not tell anyone else about your…." He did not say the word. Merlin gave a slow nod.

"Thank you Arthur." He whispered, his words muffled by tears. Arthur furrowed his brows.

"I'm not killing you, Merlin. I'm not forgiving you either. You are dismissed." Arthur turned on his heel to make his way back towards the throne. Merlin stumbled forward.

"Arthur!" He cried. The king turned around to see the sorcerer holding out his wrists.

"I- the cuffs. They cannot be broken by an ordinary weapon."

"And?"

"Excalibur is no ordinary weapon." Merlin bit down on his cheek, hoping he got the meaning across. "Please." Arthur regarded Merlin for a moment.

"You say that those suppress magic?"

"Yes."

"Then why would I want to take them off?"

**I WARNED YOU ALL! ARTHUR IS A PRAT ABOVE ALL PRATS! I REALLY DO HATE MYSELF. All that aside, I am very excited for the rest of this fic. I don't think it's even half over. I have some things planned for these characters. Pleasepleaseplease continue to read. And um, I do not own Merlin. *Breathes in.* Ah well. See you all later! **


	9. Chapter 9

**I know that this is a horrible excuse for my lack of updates, but I moved ten hours away from my old home. Time to adjust and all that jazz. If anyone is still here, have a new chappie. For disclaimers sake, I do not own Merlin.**

Arthur woke the next morning to a blindingly brilliant shower of sunlight. With a growl of discontent, the king rolled over on his side.

"I swear that your only goal in life is to torture me, Merlin." He sighed into his pillow. A few moments passed with no witty retort, serving to spark some suspicion in Arthur's mind. Moaning, he sat up. "Did you bring breakfast then?" He asked, turning his torso towards his manservant. Merlin merely gave a reluctant nod. Arthur raised his eyebrows, a glimmer of challenge in his eyes.

"What's the matter, Merlin? Not enough sleep? I'm sure some practice on the field could-" Arthur's eyes flickered downwards and he paused. Were those bracelets on Merlin's wrist? What were they doing there? Suddenly, it all came flowing back to him. Right. Merlin, magic, evil. Or so he would be inclined to think. Arthur cleared his throat and stood up.

"I'll be dressed before I eat." He announced.

"I'll get your clothes then." Merlin answered in a near whisper. Arthur shook his head.

"Don't bother, I can do it myself. It doesn't take magic to put a shirt on." His words caused Merlin to flinch, and the young man's eyes flickered away from the king. Arthur swallowed nervously. His insult brought him no satisfaction or anything of the sort. Only a hollow feeling in his stomach- but perhaps that could be blamed on hunger. Pursing his lips, Arthur marched towards his wardrobe and yanked a shirt out from inside. Merlin stood straight, hands folded in front of him. He didn't move. Arthur fiddled with the shirt in his hands for a moment before clearing his throat.

"Why don't you go polish some of the swords in the armory? We'll need them for practice. I'll have another servant take my dishes when I am through with breakfast." Without making a single sound, Merlin moved towards the door. Arthur made a point not to watch him go, but he felt his heart quicken for a moment as the door slammed. Again he felt the resounding emptiness within his stomach. The king turned to the table and sat down, alone, to eat. He consumed every morsel on his plate, but it made no difference.

He still felt hollow.

"Alright men!" Arthur called out as he entered the training field. He felt the eyes of all the knights upon him, and a part of him wanted to shy away. No- that wasn't right. If there was anyone he should feel at ease around, it should be his men. His loyal knights, his best friends. The man struggled to keep his royal composure as he spoke.

"What will it be today?" He asked. Gwaine smiled. Arthur didn't like that smile.

"I say one on one sparring sounds nice right about now. What do you say, you against me?" Arthur forced himself to laugh.

"Are you sure about that? I have a pretty good track record when it comes to swordplay." Oh lords. He was sounding like a cocky prat- no, not a prat. That was a stupid word. Gwaine stared at Arthur, his eyes smoldering. This was going to be no friendly training session.

"If you are so good," Gwaine hissed through his teeth, "then you'll be glad to fight me. Come on princess, let's go." Arthur turned to his other men, seeking a touch of friendliness from any of them. Percival had the same flame in his eyes that Gwaine did. Always friendly Elyan was staring at the ground as if his life depended on it. Even Leon, mentor Leon, loyal Leon, avoided Arthur's gaze. So that's how it must have been for Uther, then. Looking out for the greater good of your kingdom meant sacrifice. Sometimes, that sacrifice was the trust of your friends- or perhaps your friends in general. Fine then. Arthur would do what he had to. What his father would have had him do. He reached into his scabbard and pulled out his sword.

"Alright, Gwaine. Are you ready?" The words had hardly escaped his mouth before the knight was barreling towards him, sword held up high. For a moment, Arthur was scared that Gwaine would kill him. For a split second he hesitated, before raising his sword up in defence. Metal made contact with metal and sparks flew. The two men pulled their swords away only to have them meet again. Never had the sound of swords in the training area sounded so loud and so furious.

Gwaine made no attempt at technique as he fought. He was led only by blind fury as he swung at Arthur again and again. Anger boiled up inside of Arthur and the two men became nothing but two enemies on a field. With each swing the fury inside the king grew greater. He had no time to think, no time to wonder whether he was angry at Gwaine or at himself. He was just angry. Angry, and with a sword.

A sudden, barbaric cry ripped from Gwaine and Arthur found his sword flying out of his hands. In a flash, the knight was on him and the two men were rolling through the grass.

"You're a bloody excuse for a king!" Gwaine cried out. "You know nothing. Where is your loyalty? Do you know nothing of the word?"

"I know what loyalty is." Arthur answered, struggling to get the knight off of him. Gwaine scoffed.

"Oh, I'm sure you do. You expect everyone to be loyal to you, don't you? But heaven forbid Mighty Arthur Pendragon should show an ounce of it. No, you take those who care about you and chain them up!"

"I didn't chain him up. They are only bands Gwaine, they do no harm." Arthur attempted to wriggle away, but Gwaine had him pinned. Adrenaline had made the stronger man at the moment. Gwaine leaned in close so that his face was mere inches away from Arthur's.

"You may have no physical chains, but you have trapped him inside himself. You said you didn't kill Merlin, but in a way you did. Don't make the same mistakes your father did, Arthur." He spat. Arthur grunted.

"Perhaps in some cases my father was correct. Sorcerer's cannot be trusted. If they could be, Mer-" Arthur cleared his throat. "He would have told me years ago."

"That would have been asking for death."

"Aren't you asking for death when you break the law?" Gwaine drew his arm back, and before Arthur had time to realize what was happening, the knight's fist made contact with the king's face. Arthur let out a cry of pain as Gwaine drew back his arm again. This time, however, he did swing. Arthur noted the man's focus draw away from him, and he twisted his body as well as he could to see what had caught Gwaine's attention. Merlin stood before them, a pained expression upon his features.

"Gwaine." The warlock whispered. "Stop."

**Welcome to today's edition of Arthur is a Prat. I did not orignally intend to make it this bad…. Well, that just makes us look forward to the good, right? … Maybe? … I'm a horrible person.**


	10. Chapter 10

"Stop." Merlin repeated, as if his first demand was not heard. Gwaine looked up at the warlock for a moment and bit his lip. Arthur still lay beneath him, but seeing his manservant made the king cease struggling for a moment. Gwaine then shrugged.

"It's for you, Merlin. I did it for you." Merlin frowned and shook his head.

"No. No, I don't want that." Gwaine nodded slowly.

"Alright then." He stood up, leaving Arthur free to move. For a moment Arthur swore that the knight looked ashamed that he let his temper get the best of him. Arthur sat up in the grass and lifted his hand to his jaw.

"That is going to bruise." Merlin told him. Arthur frowned.

"Well that's a bit obvious, isn't it?" He snapped. Merlin's shoulders slumped and he let out the slightest huff.

"You always did say I was stupid."

"I perceived a lot of things wrong about you. I believe I also thought that you were innocent and incapable of anything. It's seems that you are capable of a lot, actually. Like, lying and backstabbing to name a few."

"I'm also good at saving your life!" Merlin snapped. "Or have you forgotten that part? You seem to be very good at forgetting the parts that don't highlight your heroism." At Merlin's words Arthur leapt to his feat.

"I don't think you are in a position to speak to me like that." He barked. Merlin rolled his eyes.

"Oh yes, because I've always been the obedient servant. Why don't you just throw a goblet at me? I'm sure that would teach me a lesson or two."

"I'm warning you Merlin-" The warlock let out a laugh.

"Warning me about what? What can you do to me that hasn't been done already?" Arthur sucked in his cheeks and made no move to respond. Merlin took a shaking breath. "I'm still helping you, Arthur, despite everything. I told Gwaine to stop hitting you, although it would have been nice to see a bit of sense knocked into your prattish head." Arthur threw his head back and laughed.

"Oh that's just great, Merlin. You told someone not to hit me. I guess I should forgive all the lies you've told me, shouldn't I? Forget the treason everyone, I was spared a punch!" Arthur heard Gwaine growl behind him, but it seemed as if the knight lost his taste for violence at the moment. Arthur bit down on the inside of his cheek. His jaw throbbed from the hit, and for a moment he was at a loss for words. It felt as if everything around him was falling apart. He felt the valiant edge of his heart prod a bit, begging to get through to him. But pride and disappointment were too much right now. He just stood, looking from man to man feeling like anything but a king.

"You have nothing to say, then?" Merlin asked.

"Not if you aren't going to give me a bit of respect."

"Oh, you want respect now? If that's what you have a taste for I can fetch George. I'll be sure to tell him that a nice pair of cuffs come with the job."

"Well that's nice, Merlin. Keep making things worse. You know, you could at least try."

"Try?" Merlin said with a laugh. "Try? You want me to try?" He was answered with silence. The sorcerer took a shaky breath. Arthur stared at him with ice in his expression. Merlin quivered. He snapped. "I'm done trying!" He cried out. His voice came out rough and angry. It held the same raw energy and power as when he would call to Kilgharrah. Startled, Arthur stumbled back. Merlin clenched his fists, the cuffs diggings into his wrists.

"For the past several years, Arthur, years! All I have ever done is for you. I've risked everything for you. I've lost friends, Arthur, family. I've been hurt, and stepped over, and abused. Everything I have done, everything, was because I believed that you were good Arthur. I believed that you were good, and I believed that Camelot would change. Do you think I'm happy? Do you think I try to be? I could have gone home, I could have gone somewhere where they would recognize my talents. But I stuck around, and I believed." Tears found their way through Merlin's lashes, and raced each other down his cheeks.

"Do you know what, Arthur? Elaine is still out there. She is plotting, and she is waiting. Without me Arthur, without me you won't defeat her. How am I supposed to do that with these?" Merlin held up his wrists so that the king could see. "How do I continue to protect you if I don't have means to do so?"

"I don't need protection." Arthur choked out, surprised that his throat was so tight. Merlin shook his head.

"You don't understand, Arthur. You can't do things alone. That's why I am here! I've tried to tell you that a million times. Arthur." The name was a plea. "I do not expect you to accept my magic straight away. I can wait a bit. But me, Arthur. I have never not been Merlin. All I can ask right now is that you don't treat me like I am no better than the dirt beneath your feet." The last word came out as a sob. Arthur shifted from foot to foot.

"You're not you." He said. "You… are not my Merlin."

"Don't you dare say that." The wizard's words were venom now. "I've thrown dignity and pride aside so that I can plea your recognition again, but do not continue to throw cruel words at me. Is that your punishment? Are you trying to break me then? Well you're a bit late to that dance, Arthur. It won't work. You can't break something that's already broken." Arthur blinked. Someone cleared his throat. It took Arthur a moment to realize that there were more people present than the two of them.

"Forgive me, but I do not believe that fighting is the solution here." Leon intervened. "You have to admit that Merlin is correct about at least one thing, Arthur. Elaine does indeed hope to hurt us in some way, and she has admitted as much." Arthur gazed at Leon for a moment, and then each of the knights in turn. A glance was spared in Merlin's direction before the king let out a weary sigh.

"I need… to be alone." He stated, and turned to walk away.

**Bum ba da dummm! Merlin's sick of it, guys. He's not going to be passive forever. If anyone is wondering where Gwen is in this story…. I dunno. Prolonged visit to her father's grave or something I guess. Our powers out and it's midnight. I also hear police cars. I do not approve of this combination in the slightest. So I shall fanfic until we have power again to keep myself occupied. Even if it's all night. Or until my computer runs out of battery. IDONOTOWNMERLINORIT'SCHARACTERS**


	11. Chapter 11

Arthur sat inside his room, fists clenched. His nails were carving little half moons inside his skin as he willed himself to make sense of life once again. The king felt all of his resolve chip away, little by little. He didn't know what he was becoming. His father? Morgana? Or was he like the both of them all along?

He had always thought that he was different, that he was good and just. But he wasn't. He beheaded a king just because he was found on Arthur's land. Arthur could blame it on Agravaine's influence, but in the end it was he that swung the sword. The blood stained his hands.

Isolte as well. Was it his fault that she had died? If he had never bothered them, she along with Tristan would still be happy together. But because of Arthur, Tristan was now living as only half a man. No matter what Arthur thought of Merlin, the manservant was wrong. Arthur could not be destined for great things. Not when he so often misjudged. Not when he thought so highly of himself that he ruined the lives of others. He didn't know what he was supposed to do.

He could not just allow Merlin to have magic. People would think that he changed laws only for the sake of his friend, and they would complain. They would say that hundreds of magic users were executed, yet one was saved merely because he was close to the king. Such a thing would not do. What would happen then? How was he to effectively rule? Arthur had promised, he had promised to be a better man than his father had been. But a Pendragon crown adorned his head, and influenced him at every opportunity. He wished that far into the future, when one heard the name Pendragon, that they would think of greatness. Not the evil that the name inspired now. Evil. Was Arthur evil? Was Merlin? Were they both?

"I need someone to talk to." Arthur said to himself. "Someone…. Someone who'll understand. That will make it better." A defeated laugh made it's way past his lips. Because no, he could talk to no one. In the past, Merlin was always the one he took into confidence. The one whose words made it better. There was never any plan b after Merlin. Arthur had always assumed that the man would be there forever.

Now though, now Merlin no longer existed. Forever turned out to be shorter than it was made out to be, and it was strange. Very strange. For Arthur had a whole kingdom at his disposal, but without Merlin, he had nothing.

**Well this was a short one. Just some good ol' Arthur inner monologue. I dislike this no power dealio. At least I'll have lot's of content for lovely fanfiction. Churning out the chappies. Right! Disclaimer. I do not own Merlin. Random question though, if anyone reads my author's notes- I want to know people's feelings when it comes to having an OC as the main character in a fic. Or one of two main characters. I have this idea for a modern Merlin fic with an oc of sorts. No romance or anything, but still. I don't want to write something that no one would enjoy.**


	12. Chapter 12

Arthur let out a sigh. Above his feelings, above anything else, was the importance of Camelot. His people deserved to be safe. If there was anything or anyone who threatened that safety, it was Arthur's job to interfere. He didn't sleep that night. He lay awake in bed, mentally preparing for the morning. Elaine would have to be taken care of, which meant a journey with his knights. Arthur was not sure that he looked forward to that tas; not considering the way his men currently regarded him. Regardless, it was his duty as Camelot's king.

The hours crawled by, but at last morning came. It brought Merlin with it, although the man was none too cheery.

"Here!" Merlin said in greeting. He held out a wooden tray and slammed it onto the table. "I brought his royal highness breakfast. I assume that you can feed yourself, and judging from yesterday's astounding accomplishment, you can dress yourself as well." Arthur watched in amazement as Merlin spat these words out.

"Well good morning to you too." The king grumbled. Merlin raised his eyebrows.

"Oh, and what was that? I see you decided to say a generally pleasant phrase. Congratulations. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be off the do something useful. Maybe I'll go plot against Camelot with some sorcerers, you know how much I love treason." The warlock shot Arthur a pointed look before spinning around to make his way towards the door.

"Merlin!" Arthur shouted, but his manservant had already left, shutting the door louder than necessary. Arthur let out an aggravated cry as he jumped out of bed. Ignoring breakfast, he pulled on a shirt and ran his fingers through his hair a few times. Grabbing his sword, he too dashed out of the room.

The knights were on the practice field, hopefully not eager for another 'friendly duel' with Arthur. Arthur approached him, and after an awkward moment, nervously cleared his throat.

"Hello." He said. The knights looked at one another. Finally, Elyan took the initiative to speak.

"Morning Arthur." He said. The other men mumbled similar greetings, none of them particularly heartfelt. Arthur licked his lips, unsure what to say. Gwaine gestured towards his jaw.

"I guess I hit you pretty hard." He admitted, somewhat sheepishly. Arthur shrugged.

"It's not too bad."

"Sorry."

_I don't think you are._ Arthur thought, although he wouldn't be inclined to blame him if he wasn't. Leon stepped forward then, seemingly less angry than the day before. As the wisest, and the oldest of the knights, he no doubt put ill feelings aside in favour of his friendship with Arthur.

"What would you like to do today?" He asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" No one answered, suggesting that it was not. Arthur sighed. "We need to go to Shallot- at least, I need to. Anyone else who wishes to come, well I would not argue having the company. I plan to leave within the hour." To Arthur's surprise, the knights smiled at this- well, most of them. Gwaine replied with a seemingly positive grimace. If not positive, it was at least a confirmation that he would travel with everyone else.

"Elyan can get the horses." Percival offered. "I'll fetch Merlin." Arthur bit his lip.

"So he is coming then?" Percival nodded.

"Don't think that he won't. He's angry, yes, but Merlin has been angry before, and he has never before let his feelings get in the way of his idiotic need to risk his life for your sake. Arthur was surprised that he felt a bit relieved at this. He had wanted Merlin's company of course, but it would not do for him to ask the man himself. He was fortunate that Percival was so eager to extend the invitation in his place. Arthur nodded his approval.

"You might as well go, then. I'm in a hurry. I expect that Merlin will be in the armory." Percival dipped his head in response before heading off. The knight hurried into the palace, feeling accomplished in a way. They would get Merlin with them, and with luck, Arthur would both realize and admit his stupidity before they actually got to Elaine. It was his hope that those cuffs would be gone, and Merlin would find himself free to again use his gifts. His magic was a gift of course, despite what Arthur may believe.

Percival arrived at the armory within minutes, and as expected, Merlin was inside. But now, now the man did not wear the stubborn, fiery expression that he had the day before and earlier in the morning. Now his guard was down. Softly, the knight made his way towards his friend and knelt beside him. Merlin was staring at the ground, an un-polished sword and cleaning rag hanging limply from his hands. Percival stayed in that position for a few moments, silently offering what little help he could offer. After a time, Merlin gave a small sniff.

"I wish Lancelot was here." He admitted.

"We all do." Percival told him. Merlin looked up, and Percival saw the sorrow that was burrowed deep within the sorcerer's eyes.

"He knew." Merlin admitted. "He knew about my magic, and he didn't mind." Percival furrowed his brows, surprised at this revelation. Lancelot was close with all of the knights, so in a way it struck Percival as strange that, if Lancelot knew, he would never tell anyone else. Of course, neither man could guess what anyone else's reaction would be. Perhaps it was best left a secret after all.

"I'm sorry." Percival said, hoping that Merlin caught that he was being sincere. "If I could take those things off, I would." The warlock gave a sad smile.

"Thank you. If only Arthur would, maybe things would be a bit different." Percival nodded, and took a minute to think over what it was that he intended to say. It was a bit difficult speaking to Merlin after what happened. After a time, he reached forward, and took the cloth and sword from Merlin's hands.

"We are leaving, all of us. You too, Merlin."

"Where are we going?"

"To Shallot, to see Elaine." Merlin nodded.

"When?"

"In about an hour. Think you can be ready by then?" Merlin bit the inside of his cheek and shrugged. His eyes lingered on the cleaning cloth as if he would rather be doing mundane chores than embark on another adventure.

"I'm not too sure Arthur will want me with him…. Not that it matters."

"He does. It was him that told me you'd be here in the armory. Don't worry, he's alright with it. Not that it matters!" The knight joked. To his satisfaction, he was able to extract a small smile from his friend. Percival stood up and motioned for Merlin to do the same. The warlock looked at Percival and smiled.

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"You know." Percival grinned and clapped Merlin heartily on the back.

"Come on, friend. Let's go."

**Yeah, my last chapter was super short, so I thought I'd give you another one. I am actually super excited for the chapter AFTER this one, so you can expect it tomorrow…. I think. Gwen is still absolutely nowhere. This has gone past a visit to her father's grave. Maybe she became a druid or something, dunno. That or she's just wandering in some random field of flowers for days on end. Anyways, I do not own BBC or it's characters. I say this somewhat sadly. Thanks for the reviews, I'm loving them! :-)**


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